It's totally unfair that I don't have access to all that cool stuff on the Dr. Who site just because my ip address places me outside some particular geographical region. Is it not enough that the TV networks this part of the globe are usually a whole season behind? Do they have to rub it in by denying me my God given access to some 'free' content?
Life's unfair, blah blah blah. In any case, and turning to more important things, I've made up my mind to burn up some bridges - or cross some personal milestones. Here's a quick list:
That site I've been working on for the larger part of the last year has to be number one on the list. Ok, so I was learning scala and liftweb and jquery and ... (yeah that's about it), but that experiment has got to end. Time to move on - there's a new squeeze in town.
Another one is that game I've planned to write for so long. Well, it was good as dreams go but some dreams are meant to be just that - dreams! It was nice having you for a friend but ours really never was a symbiotic relationship.
Then there's the concept of debt. The very idea that I can get it now and pay for it later. Now this one's tricky. You see I own a mortgage. I don't get why people say this with pride - I own a house is understandable but I own a mortgage? In any case, I not only own a mortgage but I'm on the verge of taking up some student loans. Somethings got to give here. I don't subscribe to the some debt is good debt idea but my actions say the exact opposite. Doesn't it say in the good book that they shall not borrow but shall lend to nations. Doesn't it say the cattle on a thousand hills belong to him. It's not about becoming rich as much as its about been financially secure and independent in God. Borrowing belies that concept I think. Living paycheck to paycheck belies that concept too. Something's got to give way. I'm just not so sure what yet... Ok, I wont be getting that SD card I crave for my N900 anything soon. I'll have to remember to backup regularly. And that's not all but let's move along for now.
I'm tired of settling. Granted, I go through this phase once every 6 months or thereabout (my mum would probably say I go through it every other nite but thats not really important now). I would like to go ahead and draw up a list now of goals but I'm afraid I've become too good at that and forgotten the bit about implementation (its a naija thing I guess). There's salvation. "Change goin' come" one way or the other.
By the way, if you (don't think I don't know there are some of you out there) read last week's then let me calm your fears - all is well *wink* *wink*
I feel like I've not said anything really positive here today (note to self: make sure to not listen to Miles Davis all day at work on a friday again). I guess when you realize that you need to change something positive has already started. Like one of my favorite authors loved to say it's the Holy Spirit that prompts us, each, to recognize our sinfulness. And Christ gives life more abundantly. He says if you drink of the water He gives you'll never taste again - I'll never thirst again. Last sabbath, after sabbath school I just sat there and kept thinking why it's so hard to follow God when all I have to do is believe. That's when it hit that true believe requires surrender. I need more of your grace and spirit, God. I need to learn to surrender all.
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