If only we knew!

The preacher stands at the pulpit and speaks about the samaritan woman.

He talks about how the woman met with the Lord and he pointed out to us - the large congregation - that if she had known she was going to meet the Lord that day, she would most likely have had a different state of mind. Would she have worn a different attire? Would she have gone to the well side at the wee hours of dawn and waited for him? Would she have gone there with the best cup she had on the shelves in her kitchen,if she knew that the Savior was going to ask for a drink of water?

He goes on to draw out a sermon from the tale of the woman at the well. I can still hear his voice as he even cracks a joke about how we make assumptions and the bad sides of having our minds made up,before we get the opportunity to find out the true position of things. He made a quick digression telling about how his wife says that Adventist men are not romantic(i share a similar opinion, though I pray fervently that my husband is different). He claims that this is an assumption wrongly generalized. He was driving home the point that Jesus was open minded enough to accommodate the neglected woman from Samaria who visited the well.

As he continues to open his mouth for the words of God to pour out,my mind catches a flying thought. If I knew that my husband was the man I was going to get married to some years ago, would I have acted differently?

Ours is like a fairy tale, (and I am so so looking forward to the happy ending where we get to live happily ever after) we met as kids. Though my senior,we met again in school where he was in his final year as I was just in my first year. Our paths crossed again in the University- his last year,my freshman year. Then we became phone friends(to think that I used to wonder why the long calls kept coming) and I even refer to him as a family friend(me representing my family and him,his- though my mum knew his grandparents)

There, I guess I have narrated enough about our history,so back to our discussion. If we had known we would eventually get married, would we have related to eachother in different ways?

My husband hangs an accusation over my head...he claims I broke his toy,when we were kids(you think that's funny,no?) Don't tell him I said this, it's between you and I. When he goes on and on about how I spoilt the toy - i think it was a car,or one of those boyish thingies - in my head am like it's either the thing was on its way to being condemned,or the thing was probably fake from the outset cos I wonder how a girl under 5 could have done much damage.

I could go on with the dirty laundry, but I'll let things slide for now. But the main question on my mind is, if we had known we were gonna end up together what would we have done differently?  To a large extent I would say we had a good relationship. Many had thought we were cousins while others called us school father and School daughter(me,i saw him as a brother,so you can imagine my bewilderment when he spoke his love to me). Raking through my mind(though not a detailed search), I can't pinpoint anything I would have done differently, my husband?...amongst other things, I bet he wishes he didn't give me =N=5 for lunch that day in my JSS 1(maybe I would have been fatter if he had given me more sef)

Well, so much for my ramblings. Guess I'm just taking the topic personal. I'll try to apply this to other life aspects....you probably should too.

Checklist for my 'potential him'

"You this girl sef, you're funny o! though you are not weird and that this idea i had isn't strange". These are the thoughts on my mind as i flip the pages of my notebook where i had done some jotting.

I shake my head as i read thru,and i whisper a quiet prayer of thanks to God.I happened to have dated the write-up,it was in the month of May 2010.I say no more about the reason for my gratitude for now,scroll further down for the concluding part.

Some years ago, i was having a 'clear-your-head-and -get-some-direction-for-your-life' session.My thoughts hovered also on the subject of the man i wished to spend eternity(that's the life after death has done us apart) with. I decided to make the list....notice i said 'the' and not 'a'. I think its a normalcy with both sexes to have a list of character traits looked out for in a potential spouse.A number of ladies across the globe have done this - either on paper or as a part of a conversation-and i did too, though there are a lot of things i don't join the 'ladies-band' wagon in doing. Like the love for color pink or the freakish love for teddies.

Anyways back to my list, here it goes.

--T.D.H (you don't know? - tall, dark and handsome)
--vastly knowledgeable
--have a love for music
--hear unspoken words
--loving & all...
--love God and understand what loving God means
--good sense of humor
--realistic
--command respect
--a good smile
--balanced in fashion things
--healthy habits
--full of ideas and open to more
--wise enough
--admit offenses and apologizes when due
--of medium size (not fat nor lanky)
--disciplined
--goal oriented
--smooth talker
--patient
--nice dancer

There! You've got to admit that this is a Master List. Me sef,i give me a thumbs up,to think that this was written at the wee hours of the day...yeah i wrote the time also,twas 6am. :D

You think am nuts?....it crossed my mind too. But you see here's the catch - and the other part of my prayer of gratitude. Then i had these topsy-turvy relationships, so i prayed for God to step in - i literately tabled this list before him. He answered!

That thing people say about making the list being an unrealistic activity built on fantasies, dint happen in my case. God sent me an answer to my prayer about 2.5months later,in the form of the man who is now my husband. So how does he rate in terms of the list? In the light of not making the head of the man in question swell too much (cos he might just get to read this) I'll keep it simple.

He dances well(he's got moves that can crack your ribs) has got a sweet smile(he's eyes twinkle when he is really smiling) loves God,is loving & all, knows lotsa things(too much sef sometimes - Google & Wikipedia are his accomplices). Obviously T.D.H, makes me laugh and all the rest.Did i mention that he sings,he doesn't just love music. I could go on...but what would it profit me to have his pride inflated - we know that's  a done deal already,cos i have written too much sef(though my delete and backspace keys are still working,I'll test waters)

So did i get a perfect man? No. Why? I am not perfect my self. But did my man meet my expectations? Yes. How come? Cos i voiced my concerns to God.Would i recommend this? Maybe. Why Maybe?  Cos like other areas of our lives, we come up with our expectations.Some times God follows our list,other times he does his own thing.But we've gotta be open-minded enough to trust his will.

Am i happy about God's choice for me?....Heaven yes!!

‘That time of the Month’

As I go ahead with my writing, I wish to state clearly that this is no lecturing session, so if you don’t know what ‘that time of the month’ means, please visit Google/Wikipedia for clarifications.

That said, I express how I appreciate the efforts of doctors, nurses, psychiatrists, biologists, and other medically related personnel. It has to be known that these people go through serious conditions. Read countless books, sit for series of exams, observe varying ailments, attend to an assortment of patients, make several recommendations……the list just goes on. Another effort that thrills me amongst many others is the work of the researchers. Conducting various tests, studies, searches, etc and collating the results thereof. I think it’s a risky business knowing that the outcome of your study becomes a reference point for many discussions, decision making and recommendations. Lifestyles and personalities often find their definitions and explanations from certain studies conducted.

I guess you are wondering where the title of this write-up comes in. Well, it is based on some studies conducted ages and ages ago about one of the human genders. It has been mentioned in medical offices, family houses, class rooms, religious settings, work places and so on. Many individuals of this class have even been labeled with these findings. They have been identified with some or all of this findings, and in some cases, it has formed the bases for explaining certain characteristics or mannerisms portrayed. The class of people earlier mentioned, are in this write-up because of the roles they have played; the medical persons recorded their observations, the researchers confirmed its generalization, and the rest of the world? They just absorbed and applied the findings.

Still don’t know where this is leading? Well, it’s about the lady that serves you your meal at the restaurant, the sales woman at the counter in the shop, the teacher of your daughter’s grade 2 class, that not-so-fine woman who was your piano instructor during your teenage days, that chic you gave your card at the party, the female nurse at the hospital, even the striper at the club. Bringing it home, It’s about your mother, sister, cousin, girlfriend, wife…..it is about me.

It is often said that when it is that time of the month, ladies act in funny ways. Some get wimpy, start to nag and experience higher body temperature. I hear some get touchy, clingy, flirty, irritated, moody and many more. What one lady experiences may be similar or different from what the other lady goes through. Our friends, family members, colleagues, bosses and others have excused our behaviors due to one of these ‘symptoms’ or the other. Sometimes they are sympathetic, other times, they are just pests, rubbing it in and exaggerating the situation. Though the ladies sometimes are causes for this behavior, question is, can they really help it?
A joke was made about how the males would cope with being females for a short period. It was concluded that they would suck at it and I agree. The lady goes through a routine of hormonal changes, what man can handle that? She has to wear a smiling face and stand at the counter even when she would rather be crying on her bed. She would walk around the room when she could as well be clutching her tummy and squatting at a corner. She gives that speech, even when her insides are burning. Yet she does this as ‘nicely’ as she could.

Yeah, she broke a glass or two and banged the phone. Maybe she spat in your face or was on your case and just wouldn’t let go. In her shoes, how would you have handled the situation? This is no excuse for those ladies that seem to capitalize on these ‘symptoms’. Here’s a thinker, you can’t always tell when it’s ‘that time of the month’. I know a certain man – my Husband, he always tries to guess the time. When he thinks I am a little unusual, he asks if it’s that time. I laugh it off of course, a lady always needs to have an alibi!

So here’s the gist, you can never tell when it’s that time of the month. All the lady needs is just an extra dose of sweetness. Do not pity her [she is already resigned to her fate] nor rub it in her face, but bear it in your mind and reflect it in your actions. Hold her, talk to her, be easy with her, help her laugh……just be sweet and she would remain more like the person she is when it is not ‘that time of the month’.