tonite, on the news

I have no clue where some of the titles here come from. It's not night yet and there's definitely no news telling going on - at least not here.

I was thinking about what I'll type on here today when it dawned on me briefly that if I had no thumbs that very thought won't be crossing my mind. Thank you God for my thumbs. I still have no clue what I'm doing here, though. I mean that literally... as in what am I on earth for. I believe in God. I believe that the whole duty of man is to fear God and keep his commandments. I believe that the greatest commandment is love. And I think that that's what John was trying to pass along in 1 John 4 when talks about confessing that Jesus is the son of God and then about love. He repeats over and over that anyone that confesses Jesus has God and then if we love it's because we have God in us. In my own little faulty logic I equate confessing Jesus with loving my brother based on that passage. But I digress. The question of life - the real one, not the one whose answer is 42 - that's the one I'm talking about.

I think I know the answer at least as it concerns me. Let me rephrase, I think I have a clue what the answer is. I think I'm too scared to think it out loud because it would bust my bubble - it may entail letting go of everything I hold dear. It would entail surrendering and it would entail diligence/consecration. As a kid, I thought I'd be married at 26 but I'm still very single at 28 (I'm so single folks are beginning to try to hook me up). There's a lot I don't know... but there's stuff that I do know... I just don't seem to want to believe it or accept it.

O well...

It's amazing the things that motivate us. For instance, I've been battling this bad habit for a while now. And then I realized that it could end up affecting someone that I don't even talk to that much and suddenly I'm exercising will power and standing in the face of temptation. What worries me is not that I'm probably doing it for probably the wrong reasons (I don't think I am) but that if she can motivate my from so far away what won't she be able to motivate me to do if proximity wasn't an issue? But whatever!

So now you know I've got issues (don't we all?). What you may not know, though, is that it's another sabbath starting tonight. I'll take that anyday, anytime over any thing else... the chance to rest in God's freedom.