That pep in my step

I finally have a valid excuse for not blogging for the last 2 months but I'm not telling. I only mention that I have a valid excuse so that it would be known that I've not given up the idea of blogging just yet. Lately, I've been given them up as fast as I can though: I hardly ever touch my guitar after sabbath hours, I don't go to play soccer once a week anymore, and I sure say much shorter congenial prayers nowadays instead of ...

But I'm back! And in other news, it has come to my notice (from no less a source than the horse's mouth) that Quemi mistakenly told my best friend that I use the 'Eniola' alter-ego. You are still like a sister to me and I forgive you Quemi. After all variety is the spice of life and what would this blog be without my healthy dose of self-deprecating sarcasm, eh?!

My mum and I saw "Flight" at the movies today. It's a pretty good movie. I remember reading an interview with Denzel Washington a few years back (reproduced in Signs of the times, I believe) where he talked about the motivation behind his selection of movie scripts and how he let his Christian beliefs guide what he agreed to appear in. It's obviously been a long journey from the days of Mississippi Masala and Devil in a blue dress (or something). I joked with my mum that I was taking her to go see this one movie because there was some nudity and swearing/cussing in the movie and her opinion of Denzel would hopefully take a nose dive after seeing the movie. My mum jabbed back saying Denzel and Obama were like her first love and nothing would change that. I'd say that Denzel and Obama appear to have a similar strut/gait (swagger for my naija bros) in their steps. "Flight" is a good movie - if you get the chance see it.

Okay, I'm out of stuff to say. This is usually the part where I talk about God and how He is merciful and kind and good. And He really is all that and much more but I'll be a hypocrite if I typed one character in that regards right now. It just popped in my head that when the bible says God loves a cheerful giver it wasn't just talking about material giving (yes, I know that is the original context). Seriously, it's like Paul is saying we should strive to live cheerful lives because each day we live we give yet some things just can't be given if our live is not in the right place to start with. Phew - the lengths people (I'm looking in the mirror here) would go to to justify their own selfishness. You'd think a brother would knuckle down, pause and find a reason to be cheerful and then come share it here. No, not moi!

 I'm tired. There's work tomorrow. Sometimes I feel like the real message I want to pass across gets lost in my sarcasm and desperate attempts at dry humour. The thing is God really is good - seriously, He is!

A fork in the path

Kay,

There's a point in every man's heart when he does one good thing - makes one good choice. It's not always obvious when or where the choice takes place but that takes nothing away from the magnitude of the occasion. You once said a man ought to know why, if not when, he chooses a path when such a point arrives - I like to think the man ought to know how to decipher such a point first and then the why and the when comes into place.

For instance, the man has to know that God is directing the path that he's chosen. The path no longer remains his but God's. It's called "letting go" in some cultures; in others it's called surrender: The man has to surrender.

Then there's the question of trust. It sounds redundant that trust should become an issue after surrender has been branded about with such impunity. Really, can one surrender without trust? Can one let go without knowing - accepting with all that he is - that the one who would be in charge is actually able to take charge? Or that in the event that the one who would be in charge can't 'take charge' the consequences will be acceptable? Redundancy serves, sometimes, to re-emphasize the obvious - trust serves to expand the concept of surrender. The currency of surrender is trust and faith is the ink with which the denominational value of the 'trust' currency is printed.

A wise man once said "Now these 3 abide: faith, hope and love but the greatest of all is love". Love, that state of being where ideas seem to develop wings of their own and raise the bearer to such heights, perhaps depth, as can't be fathomed by either the disbelieving or the unbelieving. It's a step toward the complete devaluation of the very essence of the bearer in pursuit of some ideal. True love, God himself, will give up his own eternity so that ingrates like myself have a shot, should we so choose, at eternity. True love is becoming like God in every aspect. Letting go of all that I hold dear in exchange for all that He holds dear. Depending on his providence and grace in every circumstance and at every turn that he leads me to. Anticipating, no believing, that it would all work out regardless of where or how things are currently panning out.

That point - the one I talked about in the first paragraph, the one where one makes a good choice - that point is where one chooses or rejects true love, God's love over all else.

Quemi pointed out to me that I had posted this (apparently in error). I wrote this a long time ago. I don't know where it was meant to lead to or why I spent the time to write it. I can only assume that I had just broken some poor damsel's heart and I was writing her a long-winded explanation. Now before you shake your head in disgust at 'men' in general let me say that if I could write this way every weekend I sure would love it. But if it takes breaking someone's heart every weekend to produce this beauty (in the eye of this beholder), then there's something wrong with me...

I just had to spoil it a little. It was getting a little too serious - this post. Faith, Hope and Love. It never gets too serious when we talk about them, though. It never gets old when we start to live out those principles in our lives. God knows the world needs more faith, more hope, and much more love!

If only we knew!

The preacher stands at the pulpit and speaks about the samaritan woman.

He talks about how the woman met with the Lord and he pointed out to us - the large congregation - that if she had known she was going to meet the Lord that day, she would most likely have had a different state of mind. Would she have worn a different attire? Would she have gone to the well side at the wee hours of dawn and waited for him? Would she have gone there with the best cup she had on the shelves in her kitchen,if she knew that the Savior was going to ask for a drink of water?

He goes on to draw out a sermon from the tale of the woman at the well. I can still hear his voice as he even cracks a joke about how we make assumptions and the bad sides of having our minds made up,before we get the opportunity to find out the true position of things. He made a quick digression telling about how his wife says that Adventist men are not romantic(i share a similar opinion, though I pray fervently that my husband is different). He claims that this is an assumption wrongly generalized. He was driving home the point that Jesus was open minded enough to accommodate the neglected woman from Samaria who visited the well.

As he continues to open his mouth for the words of God to pour out,my mind catches a flying thought. If I knew that my husband was the man I was going to get married to some years ago, would I have acted differently?

Ours is like a fairy tale, (and I am so so looking forward to the happy ending where we get to live happily ever after) we met as kids. Though my senior,we met again in school where he was in his final year as I was just in my first year. Our paths crossed again in the University- his last year,my freshman year. Then we became phone friends(to think that I used to wonder why the long calls kept coming) and I even refer to him as a family friend(me representing my family and him,his- though my mum knew his grandparents)

There, I guess I have narrated enough about our history,so back to our discussion. If we had known we would eventually get married, would we have related to eachother in different ways?

My husband hangs an accusation over my head...he claims I broke his toy,when we were kids(you think that's funny,no?) Don't tell him I said this, it's between you and I. When he goes on and on about how I spoilt the toy - i think it was a car,or one of those boyish thingies - in my head am like it's either the thing was on its way to being condemned,or the thing was probably fake from the outset cos I wonder how a girl under 5 could have done much damage.

I could go on with the dirty laundry, but I'll let things slide for now. But the main question on my mind is, if we had known we were gonna end up together what would we have done differently?  To a large extent I would say we had a good relationship. Many had thought we were cousins while others called us school father and School daughter(me,i saw him as a brother,so you can imagine my bewilderment when he spoke his love to me). Raking through my mind(though not a detailed search), I can't pinpoint anything I would have done differently, my husband?...amongst other things, I bet he wishes he didn't give me =N=5 for lunch that day in my JSS 1(maybe I would have been fatter if he had given me more sef)

Well, so much for my ramblings. Guess I'm just taking the topic personal. I'll try to apply this to other life aspects....you probably should too.

Painful old age!

She's gone and done it. Yes, she's turned it completely officially to a chick-blog. And not just that, she's done it while managing to compliment her 'man' to boot. Life can be quite un-understandable (won't incomprehensible be a better word?) sometimes. I did promise myself that I'll only spend on paragraph on the topic though - so if you read anything else related to the matter in a later paragraph just imagine that you are reading it here. Comprehende?!

I do think I'm getting senile at the ripe out age of about 3-0 (by the way 0-3 is going to be the scoreline when next my dear Arsenal takes to the pitch - Arsenal of course playing away from home). You see, lately, I've had the privilege of reviewing the direction of my choices and they are - what shall we say - 'unambitious in a innocuous way' (ha! see big english). It's true that I've never had a "the-artist-formerly-known-as-snoop-dogg" album in my collection but most recent additions are beginning to push the limit of gentility - Sarah Groves, Audrey Assad, Corrinne May, etc. There have been some jazz - Madeleine Peyroux, Sophie Milman - and some instrumental - Maya Filipic, Kendra Springer - but even those have definitely been on the mellow side. I think the most noisy songs in my collection are slowly becoming the Take 6 ones (I kid, you know). But seriously apart from that Cake song about "long skirts and short jackets" and maybe a few Sixpence Non the Richer (Stephen Curtis Chapman, Third Day, etc) songs there's not much I can hold my hand up in pride about when it comes to pure unadulterated noise.

Read into that last paragraph what you will. I got tired writing it sef - yes, writing about me is making me tired - GO FIGURE! Nope, it's not that time of the month - Quemi has made it perfectly clear that you can't guess correctly when it comes to that. But I've been up to my normal tricks there sha. It's only now that I think about it I realize I've mentally shelved the last 2 dates in the month when it was that time of the Month for the Mrs. and I blame Quemi for it. Speaking of Quemi, did I mention that she's responsible for the new design of this blog? For years - yes, years - I was prodding happily along with a white background and black text. This year I got very adventurous and changed the font around a little. And boy, did I feel good?! But Quemi had to have her say. Boy, did she have her say. Of course, since we all know that her husband (he of the much acclaimed 'man-of-my-dreams' post) scares me I don't need to go into why this new look will have to stay. At this rate though I'll might have to pack shop and go begging for some other blog to park my rants on. Now that I think about it I realize that I don't haveknow any male friends of mine that blog. Maybe, they all blog anonymously like I try to do here. Even that is likely to change soon - Quemi's expressed her desire to post the url to this blog on her facebook page (Q-U-E-M-I that's how you spell good times?).

For about a week now, I've been reading Stephen King's "The Stand". Now that is a good book but don't go reading it on my account if you are susceptible to night mares o (I no send you message). Seriously, for the past few days I've been sleeping at midnight only because I know that if I stayed up all night I won't be able to finish the book anyway and I had to be up for work at 6.30am. It just occurred to me, though, that I could have called in sick (damn!). Is it just me or were all his earlier books actually quite thick on biblical-ish themes? The last 3 King books I've read (Salem's lot, Desperation and now The Stand), apart from been "spooky" at times, have all had strong "bible-ish" themes (let's just cut to the chase and legalize the conjugation of nouns to adjectives with the use of '-ish' - wait, isn't that already the case?). So the book. It's junk! I'm addicted. I love it. I'm not the smartest one around now, am I?!

It's kinda like how bible study yesterday was meant to be about "Homosexualism". I'm like "please people don't waste my time I'm not coming". I know what I think (don't always do what I think though) the bible says on the subject - which is that it's a sin! So what's the point in reiterating it especially since I suspect the discussion would have no bearing on my salvation - at least not directly. I've been around 30-odd years (yes, I know you are beginning to get fed up with me bragging about my age but that's not going to stop me) and I now consider myself an old timer (I've read enough books to know I'm wrong there). So like all good old timers I'm going to stop wasting my time and yours with this pointless discussion on straight or gay dudes. Now, on the question of gay babes (I can see Meg pointing me to the couch if I continue so at this point I rest my case) - no comments! Seriously, folks how about we stop rationalizing God (big word alert - anthropomorphism). He isn't accountable to any of us and he isn't a MAN. If He says He is not cool with something then obviously it means He is not cool with it - regardless of how strongly we may or may not feel about the said 'something'. Yes, we all have free will. But should God's will also be subject to what my free will decides to be right or wrong? Say it with me people - NO!

Let's see... what else is there to talk about? O yeah, I stumbled upon a atoday.com article about how to keep the sabbath earlier this week. I scrolled down to the comments section where I saw a couple of readers having a good go at each other about the relevance or irrelevance of keeping the day. Now what I don't get (and maybe this is me been senile again) is why someone that obviously doesn't give two hoots about the relevance of the day would waste his time getting himself all worked up by reading the article from top to bottom and then waste more of his (and now my time) pouring out his angst at the evil that he perceived was done to him by his reading the article in the comments section. Freedom is just so abused in this country now it's unbelieveable. Any way, let's let that go now, shall we?!

I wish I could end this blog on a high but I've been almost morbidly moody all week. I blame my guilt at how I've spent my nights not sleeping, and then on the actual physical impact of not sleeping all of  which in turn I blame on Stephen King. Wait, now I sound like that guy I just wrote about in the previous paragraph - talk about beams, specks, and eyes!

Checklist for my 'potential him'

"You this girl sef, you're funny o! though you are not weird and that this idea i had isn't strange". These are the thoughts on my mind as i flip the pages of my notebook where i had done some jotting.

I shake my head as i read thru,and i whisper a quiet prayer of thanks to God.I happened to have dated the write-up,it was in the month of May 2010.I say no more about the reason for my gratitude for now,scroll further down for the concluding part.

Some years ago, i was having a 'clear-your-head-and -get-some-direction-for-your-life' session.My thoughts hovered also on the subject of the man i wished to spend eternity(that's the life after death has done us apart) with. I decided to make the list....notice i said 'the' and not 'a'. I think its a normalcy with both sexes to have a list of character traits looked out for in a potential spouse.A number of ladies across the globe have done this - either on paper or as a part of a conversation-and i did too, though there are a lot of things i don't join the 'ladies-band' wagon in doing. Like the love for color pink or the freakish love for teddies.

Anyways back to my list, here it goes.

--T.D.H (you don't know? - tall, dark and handsome)
--vastly knowledgeable
--have a love for music
--hear unspoken words
--loving & all...
--love God and understand what loving God means
--good sense of humor
--realistic
--command respect
--a good smile
--balanced in fashion things
--healthy habits
--full of ideas and open to more
--wise enough
--admit offenses and apologizes when due
--of medium size (not fat nor lanky)
--disciplined
--goal oriented
--smooth talker
--patient
--nice dancer

There! You've got to admit that this is a Master List. Me sef,i give me a thumbs up,to think that this was written at the wee hours of the day...yeah i wrote the time also,twas 6am. :D

You think am nuts?....it crossed my mind too. But you see here's the catch - and the other part of my prayer of gratitude. Then i had these topsy-turvy relationships, so i prayed for God to step in - i literately tabled this list before him. He answered!

That thing people say about making the list being an unrealistic activity built on fantasies, dint happen in my case. God sent me an answer to my prayer about 2.5months later,in the form of the man who is now my husband. So how does he rate in terms of the list? In the light of not making the head of the man in question swell too much (cos he might just get to read this) I'll keep it simple.

He dances well(he's got moves that can crack your ribs) has got a sweet smile(he's eyes twinkle when he is really smiling) loves God,is loving & all, knows lotsa things(too much sef sometimes - Google & Wikipedia are his accomplices). Obviously T.D.H, makes me laugh and all the rest.Did i mention that he sings,he doesn't just love music. I could go on...but what would it profit me to have his pride inflated - we know that's  a done deal already,cos i have written too much sef(though my delete and backspace keys are still working,I'll test waters)

So did i get a perfect man? No. Why? I am not perfect my self. But did my man meet my expectations? Yes. How come? Cos i voiced my concerns to God.Would i recommend this? Maybe. Why Maybe?  Cos like other areas of our lives, we come up with our expectations.Some times God follows our list,other times he does his own thing.But we've gotta be open-minded enough to trust his will.

Am i happy about God's choice for me?....Heaven yes!!

LDR, multitasking and phantom menaces

This one is going to be a certified rant (right up the same alleys as Quemi's "that time of the month") so fasten your sit belts. But since I know that I don't have the God given ability to get myself out of any trouble this rant will get me in, I'm going to try to be subtle about it.

So I stumbled across this really good christian novel on smashwords.com called "Kicking Eternity". If the book were a movie it would be a certified chick flick; if it was a disease it be would so potent it would make cancer look like a joke; but alas it's only a novel. Anyway, I'll bury head in shame and admit that I not only read it back to back but that I also totally enjoyed it. I grew up expecting religion and knowing God to be as simple as the way the characters in the book related to God - as simple as short direct heart felt prayers, quiet time in God's presense and what not. But I'm African and you know how we do. I don't know if it's poverty that makes us so loquacious or if it's just the fact that I'm part of the meagre 20% or less of introverted Nigerians that makes me think that we either talk too much without hitting the point directly or we hit the point too many times like our Father has too much wax in His ears and our words are meant to chisel away until we puncture His ear drum. No complaints though - I understand that prayer is more for the pray-er than for the prayed-to so maybe the repetition is to work up some faith. Er, but faith comes by hearing... by the word of God, no?

Anyway, so I read the book because I'm in a long distance relationship (insert much cussing and hair pulling) and getting something to do with your better half across the ocean can be challenging - timezone, sleepzones, nepa, internet and all ganging up against us. But nothing, not even suffering from LDR (yes long distance relationships are not normal and if its normal it's a disease-ish) or been madly foolishly in love can blind the eye of a brother to that most excellent torture device called female multitasking. Ladies just know how to do it. Let me rephrase that. Ladies just know how to convince themselves that they are good at it regardless of what the stats say about mankind's lack of ability in that particular sphere. But life is short and love covereth a multitude of sin (especially after they've been aired on this here blog as Quemi will testify) so let's move on, shall we?

But wait I've got nothing else to say now that I've had my fill of subtle rantiness. God knows I want to type some more now but there are just more questions than answers in my head right now like why do girls like romance stories, sef? Seriously I just felt sad and empty when I finished the aforementioned novel - like Drew & Rainey got something that God in his infinite wisdom has decided to hold back from me for another few months. I don't know sha, I just don't know. I think I'll stick with syfy going forward.

I just discovered Corrinne May. I like her. Not the way I like Meg. The way I like Meg is more properly known as love - and imma shout from the mountain tops :). But I digress. Corrinne's right up there in my mind as Sara Grooves, Audrey Assad and JJ Heller. And as a plus she sounds more like Sarah MacLachlan without the sadness-lust (terrible dry humour, I know). So instead of getting sixpence none the richer's new album I got Corrinne's 2012 album. It was either that or Ray LaMontagne's. And that's a no-no seeing as it was my ex that introduced me to him and we (my ex and I - that just sounds wrong) still have a special Ray song.

Just read through what I've typed. It's in my best interest to stop now. God, Meg & I could do with a little less of Meg's laundry on this blog :D. Seriously, though, Meg's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Just thinking of her brings a smile to my face.

There's Poland, then there's Scandinavia

So... 3 months eh... that's how long it has taken me to recover from the beating Quemi's better half gave me for offering her the avenue (this blog) to rant. And what about Quemi? I don't know... who would go near her after that beating I received.

By the way I hope you noticed the choice of words in the paragraph above - first I was given, then I received the said beating. The more sinister among you may infer that I got beat twice. Let's just say I won't refute that conclusion. Whether the reticence I now display when it comes to indulging you thus is a product of my actually been beat up twice or the magnitude of the possible one-time beating is also left to your discretion.

Anyway, I'm still alive sha - and Quemi still has access to this blog. Now whether that is because I'm scared that removing her access to it would result in another round of beating or I'm just been stubborn is up for debate. As I was the one that was beat up and not Quemi I shall now desist from pursuing further the subject of my been beat up. Apart, of course, from mentioning that the husband of the aforementioned Quemi has apologized to me now on more than one occasion - no doubt at Quemi's request. I swear (against years of good Christian upbringing no less) that Quemi's hold over the man no longer surprises me to be honest. What does surprise me though is the amount of pain she appears to not see on my face each time the husband approaches me to offer one of his many 'heart felt' apologies. If I didn't know better I'd conclude that Quemi is using the opportunity to punish both of us: her husband for having the effrontery and indecency to beat me up in public; me for some unknown childhood sin I must have committed against her.

On to weightier matters though, I've now spent 1 year at my current place of work. My boss actually had to remind me as I had completely forgotten. I'd planned to go see a movie to celebrate but I could not get the Mrs. to buy into the idea - she muttered something about forgetting our engagement anniversary and yet remembering my work anniversary. In the words of some old sage - you win some you lose some. Seriously, I like it at my current office and I've had a great one year. I totally grateful to God. I'm even inclined to stand up in church next sabbath to 'testify' of it naija style but let's leave it at that - inclination.

I was talking to my Uncle the other day about Barrack and how I felt history would remember him as been a much better president than the vast majority of Americans now think of him. I think this would be partly because his achievements, or lack there-of, would be looked at against the back drop of the huge 'hatred' and utter lack of 'agreeableness' (I can't believe the spell-checker didn't flag that word) that his political opponents have displayed during the 4 years of his tenure. From an Adventist perspective though, the division of state and religion could not gotten any clearer than during his tenure (it's a joke my people, please take it easy). Part of me wants to see him have a second term just to see how much his style morphs under the lack of pressure of running for second term. But then again my Uncle and I agree that it may also be for the best of the country if a Romney in office heralds a government that is united in solving America's problems rather than bickering about imagined political bends and what not. Then again it could be argued that a Romney victory is a victory for the spread of FUD.

There are two things ways I look at it.

• God truly is an remarkable God. If I had half of his power and fore-sight, He knows I won't have created free will or the ability to abuse it :)
• Someone needs to tell Romney that for every one Poland there are a few Scandinavian countries. In fact for every Poland there's a Greece, Spain, Portugal. While for every Norway there's a ..... Denmark?

Okay I think I confused myself with that last point. Decipher at your peril... or not :)
 

Presenting... Qemi :)

It's been forever since I even visited this blog (talk less of actually writing something). I even tried to pawn off the blog on Qemi - the poor girl has been so busy with 'stuff' it's amazing she had the time to write what she did. Anyway, so Qemi calls me to say "I posted something" and in my mind I'm thinking "this is just perfect - I finally found her". Imagine my shock when I read the post and find it's all about devils, voodoo, black magic and idle hands. I mean, Qemi is my friend. I've known her since I was like seven. And never in my life would I have imagined she had such a deep grudge to pick with me - devils and idle hands (shakes head in disbelieve) - and she did it all in purple fonts ;).

Anyhow, so it's almost that time of the year. Nope, not the time for taking stock - who wants to do work?!. It's that time when it gets cold, I get holed up in my room because I'm too cheap to afford heating for the whole house and the space heater only works in my room. It's that time of the year that I absolutely detest. When I finally move away from the U.S. it will be to a country where it never snows - like Florida (okay, I kid). But it's also the first time in a long time that I'm home alone. Everybody knows that the word bachelor not only reflects your marital status but also your aloneness status - well I'm only just beginning to enjoy that latter part of bachelorhood. Family is nice and good but I think I understand the whole yankee take on it a little better now that I'm enjoying it - the very personification of "to thy tents o Israel".

I'm just rambling and Louis is to blame :). Imagine my surprise and disbelieve when I woke up to his comment on this here blog, Sunday morning. I actually then went about reading that particular blog. I'll tell you what I think. I think I like my writing style - it still sucks but reading my previous post I felt that like I saw glimpses of the writer I'd like to be if I ever were to become a writer (which I most likely never would be). I also like the content of the blog generally. I could rant about some of the craziest stuff on earth, trust me, but the crazy in me is very self conscious. I was grateful for Louis' comment - I kinda needed it.

Speaking of self-conscious, I read somewhere in Deut 28 (I think) about not been sure about the future and how that is tied to not trusting or obeying God. I like Moses. I remember reading Prophets and Kings (E. G. White) and almost having tears in my eyes when he dies. Anyway, so my understanding is that there is a clear confidence and surenesscertainty of the future that comes from trusting God - and I'm not talking about the type of cockiness that televangelist generally have. Inversely, if I find myself getting all worried about tomorrow and not sure of the future then there's a good chance that something is wrong with my relationship with God.

I don't know... I needed to hear myself say (or type) that last paragraph. At a little over 60 words per minute the keyboard actually does talk :)

Mostly Harmless...

I'll be honest here and start by saying that it's been a mighty long time since I think I honestly kept the sabbath holy. I'll go even further to say that the last time I kept it holy, I probably only just managed to do so by sleeping through the afternoon. I like the sabbath. I think that sometimes I live for it. For one thing, I don't work on the sabbath - No Way!. I also don't read or do school work on the sabbath. I only do fun stuff on the sabbath: to go church and get spiritually recharged, go for a walk, go watch soccer highlights, catch a movie or two at home... did you get the punchline?

Anyhow, I like to think that I'm honest with myself. The thing that scares me the most in life is living a lie (isn't there a Brian McKnight song that uses the phrase 'living a lie'?). I like to think that I'm honest with myself about what I want and what I do. Life is short and I really don't want to spend any part of it making sure that my story stays straight across multiple time-lines. Plus, I'm a little shyreserved, really. I like to write... it helps me clear my head. I think I'm trying to clear my head tonight. I need to plan for the work week - that's something I do on the sabbath. I like to spend time working through my week and committing each step to God ahead of time. I've never successfully planned a week ahead before though. So it's really always been a pipe dream. In fact lately, I've found myself doing more dreaming than actual planning.

I know the things I want to do. Like Paul, though, those are the very things that I do not do (pauses to go look for the bible verse. Let's hope I can come back in one piece). The later part of Romans 7 is Paul at his ecclesiastical best - so I won't say more. I can hear the song "turn your eyes upon Jesus" in my head, though. It's a beautiful song. "And the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace". Another hymn I really like is "Grace, Grace, God's grace... grace that is greater than all our sins".

I like good songs. Thank God for music.

Dead, Crazy or Doin' Time...

Edit: I wrote this about 2 weeks ago while in 9ja on vacation.

It's been like forever, literally, since I last blogged. I could give all the excuses on earth for not blogging but they'll just be that - excuses. In fact, when it's all said and done the reality would just be that lately, I've not considered journaling/blogging as important compared to other stuff in my life. Now considering my penchant (am I using the word right?) for not prioritizing the things in my life properly this shouldn't come as a surprise. I think I just gave an excuse too... shoot!

Not a lot has happened in the past 4 months - ok, I lie! I was talking with my grandpa a few minutes ago and he spoofed at Tunde Bakare's insinuation that Nigeria won't remain the same if Buhari didn't win the last elections. We both laughed cos Pastor Bakare was right - each decision obviously changes the future one way or the other. Ok, I'm not sure how we got to talking about choices and different paths but since we are here I might as well mention that I've watched almost all 3 seasons of Sliders on Hulu in the past 2 weeks - parallel universes, multiple space-time continuum, lots of fun. To be honest though, I think I'm partly watching it because I want to see if Quinn and Wade ever get their shit together (code word for make out, kiss, kiss, hug, hug, xoxoxoxo, blah, blah, blah). I realize this all doesn't really point to much that has changed in my life so I'll close this paragraph and hope that the next offers more intelligence... and direction.

I've been listening to a whole lot of Jazz this year (Quick advice - never listen to Miles Davis at work if you are a programming or do some other mentally tasking job). I got like 3 or 4 new jazz CDs and then some so far this year... Sophie Milman's rendition of Eli, Eli was enough to get me to buy her album. I can't say I regretted the decision. Then there was the Diane Kroll album that I got because she's more traditional and she's quite popular - in other words, I had no clue what I was doing or why I was doing what I was doing when I got her album. The only thing I'm sure about is that I got it on the cheap. Then just out of the blue and because I remember that they'd done some collaboration with Take 6 in the past, I decided to buy a Yellow Jackets album a month or two ago. Now I'm crossed between going out there and getting some more of their work and sampling the album I got a little more. I've loved the album I got so much I've been kicking myself for not getting their album earlier.
I've also been listening to more R & B -ish gospel. I wonder why Onitsha never released a second album - she's got the pipes and maybe she's not as main stream, CCM-wise, as say Mendissa but I'd say talent wise she's aight. I've actually never listened to a complete Mendissa album - hint: I actually thought Mendissa was caucasian (how else do you expect me to explain that KISS FM was always playing 'voice of the saviour' and that other station that features the Yolanda Adams morning show wasn't?). Any way, I think I'm kinda looking for an R & B act to replace 'Virtue'. I never felt like 'Virtue' ever captured the promise of their first album. That album in my opinion is still their best till date. Don't get me wrong o. They've got lots of good material on their other albums but that first... now that was pure gold all through. One valid candidate would be Karima Kibble's album or just going with the flow and getting Trinitee's new album (what's the word on Trinitee becoming a group of 2 instead of 3 now sef?) - anything to avoid getting Kiki's album. Here's one place where procastination can be bliss - spending money on music albums!

Thanks to Kafo, I added Mary Beth Chapman's "Choosing to see" to my to buy/to read list a few months back. Now before you get all excited, please realize that list includes "Rebels for the Cause" and quite a few other either Arsenal or Sci-Fi related material. Anyhow, since I don't have a list of books written down somewhere (I stopped using/visiting livingsocial a long time back) I tend to forget the books on my list when I'm ready to go shopping. Anyway, I finally bought C. S. Lewis' "Screwtape Letters", "Choosing to see" by Chapman, and "Life without limits". I'm on the 10th letter in Screwtape Letters. I've got to say I totally love Lewis' writing style in the book. It's kinda like what I aspire to be if I were a writer (thankfully I have no such illusions) - tedious, comma-infested, interjection infused, and totally pedantic (I concede that the book is pedantic probably because of the subject matter). Seriously, though, it's really good material. I love it. Now if only I could get myself to read the bible like so.

I like today's blog. I said a whole lot of nothing and it's been fun. I read somewhere that it's those discussions about, and sharing of, the little unimportant stuffs that keeps relationships going. So when I call my girlfriend, sometimes, we just end up playing that ridiculous game of say a 'I say word and you sing me a song that uses the word'. Thankfully she can hold a note where I can't - I kid. So Meg and I have decided to 'maybe' get married early next year. It's scary but it's about time too. When I asked her out I told her I wanted to marry her someday and I meant it... I still do. The scary part is knowing that I'm not perfect and that now I'm in a much better position to hurt her emotionally than I was say 1 year ago. The scary part is knowing that as undeserving as I am she loves me. I've been thinking about how much of 'falling in love' is similar to the type of relationship God wants to have with us. I'm a mix between realistic and optimistic with a nice touch of melancholy and romantic - I think. I'm not terrible good at long term planning but ask me to plan the next 5 minutes of my life and I'll tell you the worst that can happen, the best that can happen and all the reasons why you should throw all caution to the wind and expect the best to happen in the next 5 minutes. Tell me to do the same for a 48 hour period and my brain goes into overdrive and practically crashes. Anyhow, Meg and I spend so much time on the phone - mostly with nothing serious to talk about and it makes me appreciate a little more what having a relationship with God entails. It's being willing to and actually enjoying sharing even the most minute and mundane details of our lives with Him - every chance we've got.

Okay, someone needs to bring my feet back to to the ground... Seriously :D

Egyptian genetic networks

I have a friend that says that much of oyinbo technology is just plain magic. Educated dude, this friend, but that doesn't stop him from sounding terribly naive ever so often. Lately, though, I'm beginning to see the light. I guess it could be said that the fact that I'm meant to be working on intelligent systems means the thing shouldn't be straight forward. Anyway, I'm stuck with this really nice sounding thesis that never seems to work. But then I'll have to redefine 'work'. Yesterday, for instance, I was able to train the network to do 'something' - the problem was that the 'something' was not the intended task. But for a moment it looked uber cool and I totally loved it.

The middle east is one of many fields I'm obviously not vast in. Last time around I thought the riots in Egypt will result in nothing. I guess you can take a moment now to laugh at me. To be far though, I still stand by what I said earlier that not much will change. Yes, true democrazy may come to stay in those areas of the middle east where 'dictatoships' have been toppled but nothing much else will change. I'll also say that I thought Arsenal would win the carling cup this year but we all know how that turned out.

So that's life as we know it. I wish it were better - not that I believe that will make it better. Dont get me wrong o - this season Arsenal will win the EPL. But in the larger sphere of things a group of about 20 twenty-something-year-olds each earning in a week what I earn in a year is sadly irrelevant. What's relevant is good and evil, right and wrong, joy and sadness, peace and sadness. Thankfully, there is still a God and He is still in charge however contrary things may appear.

To rant or not to rant

If I think about it - I mean actually ponder it over - before actually writing it does it make it less of a rant? Now that I've asked the question the answer does seem pretty obvious and the question, utterly redundant. The thing is, I've read some of my old posts lately and I've been truly shocked on more than one occasion. While english is not my first language (a scenario I'm genuinely grateful about), the truth is that it's the language I'm most fluent in (a scenario I'm somewhat indifferent about). I'm currently not worked up about the traffic on this site but I'm most definitely worked up with the quality of anything that bears my alta ego's signature (enough about scenarios already!). I generally write my posts in the train, Friday afternoon, on my way home - which leaves little enough time to rant much less proof read. I'm tired of pursueing this train of thought so that's that. But I'll say this - there's no point writing if even I can't bring myself to read what I've written 2 days later.

Today, I learnt another lesson I hope I never forget. It's that I should remember when I write code today that posterity (or some poor ignorant soul) will hate me or love me for it. It's like that Sarah Groves' song that says "remind me of this with every decision - generations will reap what I sow". In any case, I moved code to production a few weeks back that called a function that was written 5 years ago. The function should convert any number to six digit string prepended with zeroes and it does that - sometimes. The logic in the function is the kind of voodoo code that I used to think only I could cook up. I guess it's comforting to know that those superman senior programmers once wrote code that's as bad as what I currently write... at least a little. In any case, the logic in the function ensures that 331 comes out as 033100 but returns 310000 when 033100 is passed in. The function doesn't state any contract for the argument passed in explicitly but then assumes that only one type of string would be passed in. And this gold mine of a function is responsible for preventing about $1m in fees daily - go figure! Anyhow, lesson learnt - time to move on... or not.

We've been studying humility in my little church group. This week, though, we switch to "witnessing". If there's anywhere I'm an epic fail, christian-wise, it's at witnessing. Of course, failure to witness is probably the greatest sign of how little one has genuinely experienced and has a relationship with God. After all, it's a basic fact that when you are excited about something you want to tell the world about it. It starts to crop up ever so often in your discussions and you actually start to sound like the person (or the cartoon character). So, I'm looking forward, expectantly yet with trepidation, to the series on witnessing. After all, it's bible studies like these that can condemn you to heaven or hell.

Makes me remember the words of the Asa song that says "peace for the people who are gone, ye pa for the ones not yet born, war for the people who are here" (I'm not sure if it's war she says or woe in the last phrase but I figure they both come out the same way). We are all running a race we can't win. Fortunately, though, it's a race that's been won on our behalf (least that's the bible's take on it) - if only we'd accept and claim the victory like our lives depended on it ('cause it does) and surrender to God's will.

Ah, the cynic in me.

The verdict

So America voted last week and they sent a message to the president. Fox, the self appointed emissary of the people, says the people want the president to fix the economy (cue hysterically laughter but anyway let's continue). So the people want the president to fix the economy and cut big government spending (are you confused, yet). They want the man to fix an economy that was wreaked in more than 8 years in 2 years conveniently forgetting that passing policy in congress today is a chore. Moreover, won't passing a resolution constitute creating big government and, hence, defeating the goal of the rebelling electorate. The craziest bit of it all is that to force the president's hand in the matter of fixing the economy, the people have voted in reps from the same party that was in charge when the economy tanked (as if the said party's philosophies could have changed in the 2 years since they got kicked out of power).

Moving forward

I could go on and on but in the last few weeks I've come to understand, a little, the kind of dynamics that brought may have brought someone like Hitler to power. The truth is, more often than not, we all do what the loudest, most popular person in the room does. We'll also clinged to anything that appears to be different from what scares us and has failed (Arsenal fans are very much skilled at this). In the case of the elections, this was made even easier by the fact that apart from voting out the incumbents, there didn't seem to be much by way of options. Ok, so there's the option of waiting and seeing how the current president's policies pan out long-term but mankind, sadly, evolved passed the stage of 'long-term waits' quite a few decades ago.

Or not...

I never was sold on Obama as a president. Of course compared with McCain/Palin it's a no-brainer who I'd vote for any day anytime. So far, though, he's come across as benevolent if a little naive. He appears to be determined to make things work but he is working with a bunch of people that are obviously more concerned with grasping power or not relinquishing it than solving problems. I think he is a good man, a good president but it would take more than a good president to move this country forward. It will take divine intervention. But then again the new congress may just, for personal reasons, work together for the good of the country after all. You never know (how much I love you u, frankie). So let's see how the next year plays out.

The solution we don't like

Talking about ideas and policies let's talk about communism and socialism (I still don't know the difference). I'm not a big proponent of either as practiced on earth but you've got to admit that the Christian community, as found in the bible, was not unfavorably disposed to acts that bothered on extreme communism and socialism. The beauty of the first century Christian community was that it was a community where nothing was forced. To picture it, imagine a community that's communist yet where freedom of speech and choice reigned supreme. I guess you can't quite call that communist anymore. It was a community where love for God motivated all the actions. It wasn't perfect but it was good. There's also that part in the laws of Moses where God gives instructions about years of jubilee and forgiving debts and returning stuff to seized by creditors every 50 years or 7 years or so. Apparently God, sef, na commie. If money (insert greed, possessions, pride) is what drives the economy then the economy will never get better. It might appear to bounce back, but it will leave more poor people - financially, emotionally or socially.

Thank God for another weekend.

And so...

Naija is 50. There's not much more to it other than that fact. Actually, I lie - there's more to it. In the larger scheme of things the phrase 'epic fail' aptly describes the country today. If Naija were a software project we'll say she's violated in every way the concepts of KISS and DRY. Instead of test or behaviour driven development she's gone the route of faith driven development. Given the opportunity to put to use some of the finest principles of OOP (given it's differs cultural and ethic heritage) she's blindly opted for functional progamming from the center. She's also become a land where form never follows function - merit never determines opportunity and responsibility is as foreign a concept as snow in Jos (theoretically possible but extremely rare).

But she's 50 and we'll celebrate that. We'll celebrate because, perhaps, of its people and their rich cultural heritage. We'll celebrate because, despite 50 years of some of the worst governance man will ever experience and the saddiest degree of acquiescence our planet may yet see, the people haven't given up hope. We'll celebrate because whatever the country is today, good or bad, is the result of the collective will of the people - unfortunately that's me and... you. I know the military coups are a better excuse for our conditons but at 50 we should not better. We'll celebrate because Naija is the one entity we can truly call home and because, despite the best efforts of our colonial masters, we are still 'one indivisible nation under God'.

Naija is like an open source project whose final delivery was Windows Me. Seriously, how to move forward from that kind of position in an open and free manner is an act that's not yet been pulled off. But we are Nigerians, and if anybody can pull it off perhaps it's us. Perhaps, that's why we celebrate - because we've not gone the route that our conditions would warrant, because our very continued existence in our decadent social and economic structure is testament to the hideous miracle that we have fast become.

Here's one good enough reason to celebrate though. To paraphrase the words of Paul "everyman has been placed at a place for an appointed time and reason". Nigeria was that place for the first 25-ish years of my life. It looks like it would be that place for the bulk of my years here on earth - and I plan to be around for a long time. So today's an opportunity to celebrate the opportunity to be part of the gift that's my home - cos regardless of how torn and worn she may be, she's mine.

But its going to be a sober celebration alright

Rediscovering Y

This week I've been thinking a lot about 'why'. When you work in I.T it's really easy to let go of 'why' and to start concentrating on 'how'. 'How' puts food food on the table much faster than 'why'. If you are a programmer, 'how' parades itself around in the form of the boss that goes: "x and y did that in two weeks so I expect it to get done in one... Just copy what they did". If you dream of becoming a hacker he tells you that producing the next cool app fastest wins all the accolades - regardless of the fact that accolades is never a good reason to chase anything.

'how' is to life what subsistent farming is to a full time farmer - it will only get you so far. And 'so far' isn't where the man upstairs intended when he knelt in the mud that day, 6,000-ish years ago.

So, I've been thinking. Funny thing about thinking is that if you are very good at 'how' your first inclination would be to see 'why' other attempts are wrong and that lures you, falsely, into thinking that you've experienced a 'why' paradigm shift. The reality, though, is that you know one way (or more) of doing stuff well and you've assumed that, off the bat, yours is the best - you are still chasing the 'how' instead of the 'why'. Now, this isn't to say that sometimes the 'how' that you know isn't really the best way to get the job done. The point here is that understanding the 'why' gives you more just the opportunity to apply a random 'how'. The 'why' helps humble you and expands your understanding of the intricacy of the 'how' so that you then know how to apply it better - kinda like 'why' is the proper way to understand the 'how' and not the other way around.

Ok, I'm tired of putting quotes around 'why' and 'how'...

This morning I was listening to an old VOP podcast (a cheap replacement for actually studying my bible) and the presenters mentioned how James and John said they were willing to drink the cup even without understanding what the cup entailed. The thought that struck me then was that 'life and death is in the power of the tongue'. The other text that crossed my mind was the centurion telling Jesus to just say the word and it would be done. The centurion further explained that he was a captain of a company too and he could tell a soldier to go or come and his command would be carried out. Paul says faith says those things that aren't as though they were.

It wasn't the point of the podcast, but I had a rough night yesterday, and it seemed to me like God was saying to me, this morning, you can say it and it would come to pass if you believe. The concept is so simple it's feels like a lie but the reality is 'in Jesus name' (we'll have to talk about in Jesus' name maybe next week) all things are possible.

I love Fridays. Especially because the following day is the Sabbath. One of these days I'll fully understand the 'why' of it so that the 'how' of keeping it holy would become clearer.

1 Nil to the Arsenal

This week's been awesome - Arsenal beat Braga 6-0. The tests I suffered on don't count when you watch beautiful soccer like that. Someone asked me what I gain from soccer sef? Well, I don't have to tell you it was a girl that asked. I also don't have to tell you that I'm not going to answer that question here.

I typed quite a post on my phone but I mistakenly overwrote the bulk of it. I'm not bothered though - like I said it's been a great week: Arsenal, 6-0. The post was about Jeremiah 29 (go read it yourself - frome the first verse) and Philippians 4 (also make sure you read from the first verse). I wish I could be bothered about not been feeling the need to type that whole post again but I am not bothered - obviously because (say it with me) - Arsenal 6, Braga 0.

You think that I get paid or something for how much I promote Arsenal. When I wrote the paragraphs above, Friday, last week, I was on cloud 9 then saturday came by and we let in a goal in the very last minute of extra time. But Karma is a pretty dark skinned lady with the most beautiful smile. She made sure we beat the 'hotscums' in style today. I'm almost in heaven.

Seriously though, God has been good to me. I'm grateful. When it's all said and done He is a sweetest friend I could ever hope for. I think I'm discovering what love is and she's beautiful!

I just read over what I've written so far and for most parts I feel like an hippie - a properly drugged hippie - which is cool by me. I feel sorry for the rest of you though so I'll stop now.

nothing...

I've got nothing to write about today - zilch, zero, blank. But I figure if I talk about nothing long enough it might look like something when I'm done. Don't get it twisted though - talking enough about nothing doesn't suddenly make nothing turn into something. That's a fallacy we've sold ourselves for far too long - about 6,OOO years precisely (I figure the devil should not get all the credit there).

Nothing is fancy and nice too. I spent the bulk of today at work doing nothing and it sure as hell looked like I was getting a lot done. I guess nothing is contextual too Nothing looks contextual too but I figure you've got to have absolutes, right? Moreover, relativity is an abstraction that only works in physics textbooks and that only because it presents a means for our limited mental capacities to explain away a tiny fragment of the reality we can observe. I think that in the land of absolutes nothing has a clearly defined boundary. It's almost like in set theory where an empty set is a type of set but... ok, now I'm thinking I'm totally confused (apparently an empty set is something).

In any case, before we were interrupted by that unfortunate detour into set theory, nothing can't be something because if it were something it would cease to be nothing - get it!

I could quit now but I'm on a roll, why stop. So nothing exists in a clearly defined space. I think that's a wrong statement too isn't it. I mean for nothing to exist would mean nothing is something. Seriously english sucks (yes I'll blame on the language - I'm proud!). Much more than just boundaries, nothing should have none of the properties of something, I figure. Like darkness is that absense of visible light so nothing is the absense of something. I guess that would mean the presense of nothing in an object would invariable result in the deflation of the said thing. After all you need something to give structure to an object. I guess that's why the "world was void and, consequently, without shape". The really scary thing about nohing is that it's so hard to describe - I know because I just made a harsh of my attempt at it.

The one thing I'm certain of is that nothing clearly leads to chaos. If you live in nada-land long enough you lose clarity of thought. I'm not going to bother about rationalizing how or why - that's just the way it is. So, if we've sold and bought ourselves nothing for so long it's easy to see why we (I'm messed up but I figure I could share the love here) live such messed up lives? Nothing takes many forms - idle hands, drugged minds, hollywood-ish life styles (nothing is beautiful). I think nothing has a time and a purpose apart from chaos but that's a purpose that's surely out of my realm (frankly virtually all purpose is out of my hands anyway).

I don't know where this would take me but I know how it ends so let me end it. It's been a rant worthy of it's name.

In the bible, there's mention of a being that can bring order out of nothing - out of chaos (say goodbye to your dearly beloved laws of thermodynamics fellas). "In the beginning God..."

Long distance... not a problem!

I had a title for today but now I can't remember it. Thinking about what I should write today a couple of thoughts crossed my mind. For instance "keep it short" or "go straight to the point". Time is really hard to find nowadays now so whatever time I find has to be put to good use. Today, for instance, I plan to go see a movie instead of going to class. It's only the first week of class anyway and there's no point going to sit in class if I didn't read the material ahead of time. To put it clearly - I'm lazy - always have, probably always be :)

I read parts of John 13 this morning. Jesus tells Judas to go do what he would do quickly. It's wierd somewhat considering that Jesus knew what it was Judas was planning to do. But as I thought about it it started to make a little more sense (cue false theology and impending doom). The reality is that there's a time for everything and when the time comes acting like a sluggard won't cut it. Get to it and do it. I think it was Paul that talks about leaving the sinning brother to his ways as that may be the best wasy to save him. And in the book of Revelation, the message to one of the churches is "you are neither hot or cold". Put another way "you are always vaccilating (I'll have to check the spelling/meaning of this word) - one time doing good and going half way and the other time basically retracing your steps". Conclusion - not hot, not cold, spat out. Compromise has it's time and it's place (where it's actually a proactive act of faith) like everything else but God's designed life in such a way that each one is accountable and for that reason God really wants each one of us to get on with it - live life. Take that step. I believe God would much rather we took the right step (as in no Judas style gestapo missions) but the precursor to that is taking a step. Apparently there may be something worse than doing it all wrong. It's just sitting still and letting fear tie you down.

I've written the last paragraph down for me really. Life short - get along with it. God really would have it no other way.

so long heartbreak...

It's totally unfair that I don't have access to all that cool stuff on the Dr. Who site just because my ip address places me outside some particular geographical region. Is it not enough that the TV networks this part of the globe are usually a whole season behind? Do they have to rub it in by denying me my God given access to some 'free' content?

Life's unfair, blah blah blah. In any case, and turning to more important things, I've made up my mind to burn up some bridges - or cross some personal milestones. Here's a quick list:

That site I've been working on for the larger part of the last year has to be number one on the list. Ok, so I was learning scala and liftweb and jquery and ... (yeah that's about it), but that experiment has got to end. Time to move on - there's a new squeeze in town.

Another one is that game I've planned to write for so long. Well, it was good as dreams go but some dreams are meant to be just that - dreams! It was nice having you for a friend but ours really never was a symbiotic relationship.

Then there's the concept of debt. The very idea that I can get it now and pay for it later. Now this one's tricky. You see I own a mortgage. I don't get why people say this with pride - I own a house is understandable but I own a mortgage? In any case, I not only own a mortgage but I'm on the verge of taking up some student loans. Somethings got to give here. I don't subscribe to the some debt is good debt idea but my actions say the exact opposite. Doesn't it say in the good book that they shall not borrow but shall lend to nations. Doesn't it say the cattle on a thousand hills belong to him. It's not about becoming rich as much as its about been financially secure and independent in God. Borrowing belies that concept I think. Living paycheck to paycheck belies that concept too. Something's got to give way. I'm just not so sure what yet... Ok, I wont be getting that SD card I crave for my N900 anything soon. I'll have to remember to backup regularly. And that's not all but let's move along for now.

I'm tired of settling. Granted, I go through this phase once every 6 months or thereabout (my mum would probably say I go through it every other nite but thats not really important now). I would like to go ahead and draw up a list now of goals but I'm afraid I've become too good at that and forgotten the bit about implementation (its a naija thing I guess). There's salvation. "Change goin' come" one way or the other.

By the way, if you (don't think I don't know there are some of you out there) read last week's then let me calm your fears - all is well *wink* *wink*

I feel like I've not said anything really positive here today (note to self: make sure to not listen to Miles Davis all day at work on a friday again). I guess when you realize that you need to change something positive has already started. Like one of my favorite authors loved to say it's the Holy Spirit that prompts us, each, to recognize our sinfulness. And Christ gives life more abundantly. He says if you drink of the water He gives you'll never taste again - I'll never thirst again. Last sabbath, after sabbath school I just sat there and kept thinking why it's so hard to follow God when all I have to do is believe. That's when it hit that true believe requires surrender. I need more of your grace and spirit, God. I need to learn to surrender all.

brides, bride-grooms, 42s

"A man can receive nothing, except it be given him from heaven" John 3:27

"He that hath the bride is the bridge-groom". I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to clearly identify what life is all about. I'm pretty sure now that 42 isn't the answer but then again it's not that far off. Today, I read John 3 - you know that Nicodemus chapter but not really the Nicodemus part. Down the chapter we find John's disciples talking to him about Jesus and the baptisms that Jesus was "supervising" over on the other side of the Jordan. And John uttered the immortal phrase "A man can receive nothing, except it be given him from heaven". He goes on to say some other cool stuff including the sentence "He must increase, and I must decrease". That's what life is really about - decreasing while God increases. There are different ways we'll get there and different ways we'll touch those around us while traveling there - some of my friends are already PhD holders, some are public health workers and some don't know what they are meant to be in life - but the destination is the same - "All of God and none of us".

John doesn't say a lot in the cause of the entire new testament but I'd like to have a bunk next to him in heaven. I get the feeling he'll sound just like my grandfather - Really smart/wise yet gentle and patient - I love them, both.

This last week wasn't bad by any means. Work has slowed down lately - it feels like when I first started working there as an intern. It's given me time to try and learn new stuff. I'm working on my next liftweb based website already and I'm planning when that's done to submerge myself in as much bio-informatic material as I can find on book24/7. The GC too is ended - woohoo - and with it it's many distractions. Yes, I ended up greeting all those naija dudes I was hoping to avoid and no, for some strange reason, they all didn't act surprise that the little boy in pants they once knew is now taller than the bulk of them. Or maybe they did but the amount of mental preparation for the onslaught over compensated for whatever discomfort such remarks would have otherwise caused.

Honestly, though, the GC was fun. There was family around especially since it coincided with July 4 and there were all these kids running around my place. I wish all weekends were like that (minus the financial aspect, of course).

I've been thinking about starting a second blog for programming, IT related posts. This here blog was meant to be that but it has somehow morphed into more of a personal, thank-God-it's-friday, soul searching blog. The thing is I'll have to blog the IT stuff under another name so I can get my friends to read up stuff there. Alternatively, I could come out of my shell here and just put IT stuff here too. Of course it would mean occasionally pissing off one audience of readers but it could actually end up breding a 3rd type of audience. Funny, though, cause right now the only audience is me... and perhaps a google spider or bot or whatever they call them these days.

Last time I ended up asking about forgiveness and what it really means. I think that eternity beats any other benefit. Sometimes, I bother too much with technicalities - curse of my trade perhaps. What I'm trying to say is that what really matters is that God gives me another chance in the eternal scheme of things. In the physical realm, I think life is more of an art than a science and that God is constantly having to retouch some part of the picture daily because of my foibles. Sometimes, he just completely dabs out the blot I made with the right about of color, and sometimes he lets time take care of the blot. Sometimes, I still suffer the physical consequence of my sins yet sometimes, in His mercy and infinite wisdom, he takes away the consequence of my failures so that the eternal goal won't be missed.

I wish I trusted God more each day. Life would be so much more fun that way - each day becomes one really cool roller coaster ride where you don't know where the next turn leads but you know that you'll get home safe. Now who won't want that kind of life!