Running away with me...

My blog titles are usually random but a lot of them come from the lyric of songs I'm listening to at the time I write. For instance I'm listening to Peter White's cover of the classic song "Just my imagination" (that's the title, no?). Bueno Funk's my favorite song on that album - 1 of my goals in life is to be able to play the melody of that song!

I start work next week after a whole month off. I don't know what to expect. It's still a programming gig but it's different from what I've done in the past. In the past, I worked on in-house java web based applications primarily. I'll still be doing java work but it will be centered around xml and web services this time around from what I gather - which isn't much. The pay is good though and the environment was the best that I interviewed at. We'll see what happens. This whole job thing reminds of the 2nd chances song in Veggie Tale's take on the story of Jonah. The older I get the more I realize that I'm not exactly as smart as I once thought I was, and the more scared - the scareder - I get. Human nature is funny though: you'd think that been scared and realizing that I suck at virtually everything would make it easier to surrender to the source of all things. But then again, maybe I don't fully comprehend my inabilities. What's that they say about people, death and lack of knowledge again?

I just finished Stephen King's "Desperation". I blame C. S. Lewis and the Screwtape Letters - which by the way, I've still not finished reading despite having started reading it before I switched to "Desperation". The thing is the more I read Screwtape Letters, the more I felt like Lewis was writing about me. When he got to that letter where Screwtape talks about the subject enjoying his pleasures I made up my mind to pick up novel reading again. I'm like screw it - I'm busying beating myself up, taking up pretentious - and terrible - habits, not doing what is right, not doing what I like and generally been miserable. Not! I remember how long it took me to choose "Desperation" at yaba about 2 weeks ago. The guys selling the used novels were on me like ants on honey, offering me one Stephen King book after the other. And in my coolest Fela-ish tone, I would go "O, I've read that... nice book" or "Hey! I remember this story...". Anyhow, now that I've read and totally enjoyed the book o there's the what next question. As in, I know it would be worse badder now to go back to my pre-Desperation days and I don't really want to go back to losing myself in each new novel I come across either. Life just keeps throwing curve balls - 20 belows in July, if you wish.

Anyhow, my favorite line from the novel goes something like "Disbelief and Unbelief are two different things - the former comes natural the latter is willfull... after unbelief comes desperation". And then I like how the book ends with 1 John 4:8. Go read it!

I've got to write a to do list of paper... clear my head a little! And then I've got to do something I've really not done in a while... I need to just put off the TV, computer, phone and just... be still!