A fork in the path

Kay,

There's a point in every man's heart when he does one good thing - makes one good choice. It's not always obvious when or where the choice takes place but that takes nothing away from the magnitude of the occasion. You once said a man ought to know why, if not when, he chooses a path when such a point arrives - I like to think the man ought to know how to decipher such a point first and then the why and the when comes into place.

For instance, the man has to know that God is directing the path that he's chosen. The path no longer remains his but God's. It's called "letting go" in some cultures; in others it's called surrender: The man has to surrender.

Then there's the question of trust. It sounds redundant that trust should become an issue after surrender has been branded about with such impunity. Really, can one surrender without trust? Can one let go without knowing - accepting with all that he is - that the one who would be in charge is actually able to take charge? Or that in the event that the one who would be in charge can't 'take charge' the consequences will be acceptable? Redundancy serves, sometimes, to re-emphasize the obvious - trust serves to expand the concept of surrender. The currency of surrender is trust and faith is the ink with which the denominational value of the 'trust' currency is printed.

A wise man once said "Now these 3 abide: faith, hope and love but the greatest of all is love". Love, that state of being where ideas seem to develop wings of their own and raise the bearer to such heights, perhaps depth, as can't be fathomed by either the disbelieving or the unbelieving. It's a step toward the complete devaluation of the very essence of the bearer in pursuit of some ideal. True love, God himself, will give up his own eternity so that ingrates like myself have a shot, should we so choose, at eternity. True love is becoming like God in every aspect. Letting go of all that I hold dear in exchange for all that He holds dear. Depending on his providence and grace in every circumstance and at every turn that he leads me to. Anticipating, no believing, that it would all work out regardless of where or how things are currently panning out.

That point - the one I talked about in the first paragraph, the one where one makes a good choice - that point is where one chooses or rejects true love, God's love over all else.

Quemi pointed out to me that I had posted this (apparently in error). I wrote this a long time ago. I don't know where it was meant to lead to or why I spent the time to write it. I can only assume that I had just broken some poor damsel's heart and I was writing her a long-winded explanation. Now before you shake your head in disgust at 'men' in general let me say that if I could write this way every weekend I sure would love it. But if it takes breaking someone's heart every weekend to produce this beauty (in the eye of this beholder), then there's something wrong with me...

I just had to spoil it a little. It was getting a little too serious - this post. Faith, Hope and Love. It never gets too serious when we talk about them, though. It never gets old when we start to live out those principles in our lives. God knows the world needs more faith, more hope, and much more love!

LDR, multitasking and phantom menaces

This one is going to be a certified rant (right up the same alleys as Quemi's "that time of the month") so fasten your sit belts. But since I know that I don't have the God given ability to get myself out of any trouble this rant will get me in, I'm going to try to be subtle about it.

So I stumbled across this really good christian novel on smashwords.com called "Kicking Eternity". If the book were a movie it would be a certified chick flick; if it was a disease it be would so potent it would make cancer look like a joke; but alas it's only a novel. Anyway, I'll bury head in shame and admit that I not only read it back to back but that I also totally enjoyed it. I grew up expecting religion and knowing God to be as simple as the way the characters in the book related to God - as simple as short direct heart felt prayers, quiet time in God's presense and what not. But I'm African and you know how we do. I don't know if it's poverty that makes us so loquacious or if it's just the fact that I'm part of the meagre 20% or less of introverted Nigerians that makes me think that we either talk too much without hitting the point directly or we hit the point too many times like our Father has too much wax in His ears and our words are meant to chisel away until we puncture His ear drum. No complaints though - I understand that prayer is more for the pray-er than for the prayed-to so maybe the repetition is to work up some faith. Er, but faith comes by hearing... by the word of God, no?

Anyway, so I read the book because I'm in a long distance relationship (insert much cussing and hair pulling) and getting something to do with your better half across the ocean can be challenging - timezone, sleepzones, nepa, internet and all ganging up against us. But nothing, not even suffering from LDR (yes long distance relationships are not normal and if its normal it's a disease-ish) or been madly foolishly in love can blind the eye of a brother to that most excellent torture device called female multitasking. Ladies just know how to do it. Let me rephrase that. Ladies just know how to convince themselves that they are good at it regardless of what the stats say about mankind's lack of ability in that particular sphere. But life is short and love covereth a multitude of sin (especially after they've been aired on this here blog as Quemi will testify) so let's move on, shall we?

But wait I've got nothing else to say now that I've had my fill of subtle rantiness. God knows I want to type some more now but there are just more questions than answers in my head right now like why do girls like romance stories, sef? Seriously I just felt sad and empty when I finished the aforementioned novel - like Drew & Rainey got something that God in his infinite wisdom has decided to hold back from me for another few months. I don't know sha, I just don't know. I think I'll stick with syfy going forward.

I just discovered Corrinne May. I like her. Not the way I like Meg. The way I like Meg is more properly known as love - and imma shout from the mountain tops :). But I digress. Corrinne's right up there in my mind as Sara Grooves, Audrey Assad and JJ Heller. And as a plus she sounds more like Sarah MacLachlan without the sadness-lust (terrible dry humour, I know). So instead of getting sixpence none the richer's new album I got Corrinne's 2012 album. It was either that or Ray LaMontagne's. And that's a no-no seeing as it was my ex that introduced me to him and we (my ex and I - that just sounds wrong) still have a special Ray song.

Just read through what I've typed. It's in my best interest to stop now. God, Meg & I could do with a little less of Meg's laundry on this blog :D. Seriously, though, Meg's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Just thinking of her brings a smile to my face.

Presenting... Qemi :)

It's been forever since I even visited this blog (talk less of actually writing something). I even tried to pawn off the blog on Qemi - the poor girl has been so busy with 'stuff' it's amazing she had the time to write what she did. Anyway, so Qemi calls me to say "I posted something" and in my mind I'm thinking "this is just perfect - I finally found her". Imagine my shock when I read the post and find it's all about devils, voodoo, black magic and idle hands. I mean, Qemi is my friend. I've known her since I was like seven. And never in my life would I have imagined she had such a deep grudge to pick with me - devils and idle hands (shakes head in disbelieve) - and she did it all in purple fonts ;).

Anyhow, so it's almost that time of the year. Nope, not the time for taking stock - who wants to do work?!. It's that time when it gets cold, I get holed up in my room because I'm too cheap to afford heating for the whole house and the space heater only works in my room. It's that time of the year that I absolutely detest. When I finally move away from the U.S. it will be to a country where it never snows - like Florida (okay, I kid). But it's also the first time in a long time that I'm home alone. Everybody knows that the word bachelor not only reflects your marital status but also your aloneness status - well I'm only just beginning to enjoy that latter part of bachelorhood. Family is nice and good but I think I understand the whole yankee take on it a little better now that I'm enjoying it - the very personification of "to thy tents o Israel".

I'm just rambling and Louis is to blame :). Imagine my surprise and disbelieve when I woke up to his comment on this here blog, Sunday morning. I actually then went about reading that particular blog. I'll tell you what I think. I think I like my writing style - it still sucks but reading my previous post I felt that like I saw glimpses of the writer I'd like to be if I ever were to become a writer (which I most likely never would be). I also like the content of the blog generally. I could rant about some of the craziest stuff on earth, trust me, but the crazy in me is very self conscious. I was grateful for Louis' comment - I kinda needed it.

Speaking of self-conscious, I read somewhere in Deut 28 (I think) about not been sure about the future and how that is tied to not trusting or obeying God. I like Moses. I remember reading Prophets and Kings (E. G. White) and almost having tears in my eyes when he dies. Anyway, so my understanding is that there is a clear confidence and surenesscertainty of the future that comes from trusting God - and I'm not talking about the type of cockiness that televangelist generally have. Inversely, if I find myself getting all worried about tomorrow and not sure of the future then there's a good chance that something is wrong with my relationship with God.

I don't know... I needed to hear myself say (or type) that last paragraph. At a little over 60 words per minute the keyboard actually does talk :)