Mostly Harmless...

I'll be honest here and start by saying that it's been a mighty long time since I think I honestly kept the sabbath holy. I'll go even further to say that the last time I kept it holy, I probably only just managed to do so by sleeping through the afternoon. I like the sabbath. I think that sometimes I live for it. For one thing, I don't work on the sabbath - No Way!. I also don't read or do school work on the sabbath. I only do fun stuff on the sabbath: to go church and get spiritually recharged, go for a walk, go watch soccer highlights, catch a movie or two at home... did you get the punchline?

Anyhow, I like to think that I'm honest with myself. The thing that scares me the most in life is living a lie (isn't there a Brian McKnight song that uses the phrase 'living a lie'?). I like to think that I'm honest with myself about what I want and what I do. Life is short and I really don't want to spend any part of it making sure that my story stays straight across multiple time-lines. Plus, I'm a little shyreserved, really. I like to write... it helps me clear my head. I think I'm trying to clear my head tonight. I need to plan for the work week - that's something I do on the sabbath. I like to spend time working through my week and committing each step to God ahead of time. I've never successfully planned a week ahead before though. So it's really always been a pipe dream. In fact lately, I've found myself doing more dreaming than actual planning.

I know the things I want to do. Like Paul, though, those are the very things that I do not do (pauses to go look for the bible verse. Let's hope I can come back in one piece). The later part of Romans 7 is Paul at his ecclesiastical best - so I won't say more. I can hear the song "turn your eyes upon Jesus" in my head, though. It's a beautiful song. "And the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace". Another hymn I really like is "Grace, Grace, God's grace... grace that is greater than all our sins".

I like good songs. Thank God for music.

Rediscovering Y

This week I've been thinking a lot about 'why'. When you work in I.T it's really easy to let go of 'why' and to start concentrating on 'how'. 'How' puts food food on the table much faster than 'why'. If you are a programmer, 'how' parades itself around in the form of the boss that goes: "x and y did that in two weeks so I expect it to get done in one... Just copy what they did". If you dream of becoming a hacker he tells you that producing the next cool app fastest wins all the accolades - regardless of the fact that accolades is never a good reason to chase anything.

'how' is to life what subsistent farming is to a full time farmer - it will only get you so far. And 'so far' isn't where the man upstairs intended when he knelt in the mud that day, 6,000-ish years ago.

So, I've been thinking. Funny thing about thinking is that if you are very good at 'how' your first inclination would be to see 'why' other attempts are wrong and that lures you, falsely, into thinking that you've experienced a 'why' paradigm shift. The reality, though, is that you know one way (or more) of doing stuff well and you've assumed that, off the bat, yours is the best - you are still chasing the 'how' instead of the 'why'. Now, this isn't to say that sometimes the 'how' that you know isn't really the best way to get the job done. The point here is that understanding the 'why' gives you more just the opportunity to apply a random 'how'. The 'why' helps humble you and expands your understanding of the intricacy of the 'how' so that you then know how to apply it better - kinda like 'why' is the proper way to understand the 'how' and not the other way around.

Ok, I'm tired of putting quotes around 'why' and 'how'...

This morning I was listening to an old VOP podcast (a cheap replacement for actually studying my bible) and the presenters mentioned how James and John said they were willing to drink the cup even without understanding what the cup entailed. The thought that struck me then was that 'life and death is in the power of the tongue'. The other text that crossed my mind was the centurion telling Jesus to just say the word and it would be done. The centurion further explained that he was a captain of a company too and he could tell a soldier to go or come and his command would be carried out. Paul says faith says those things that aren't as though they were.

It wasn't the point of the podcast, but I had a rough night yesterday, and it seemed to me like God was saying to me, this morning, you can say it and it would come to pass if you believe. The concept is so simple it's feels like a lie but the reality is 'in Jesus name' (we'll have to talk about in Jesus' name maybe next week) all things are possible.

I love Fridays. Especially because the following day is the Sabbath. One of these days I'll fully understand the 'why' of it so that the 'how' of keeping it holy would become clearer.

when every thing falls apart

This week I'm posting twice. I wrote this last week and never got to post it.

Aug 20, 2010

This week has gone by in a blur. I can't say much has been achieved but I've started taking things slower in anticipation of next week. I like taking it slower. I wonder why I never thought about it before now. I think I'll continue taking it slow for the conceivable future - no point killing myself trying to get nowhere fast. The places that really matter in life are the places you won't have to hurry to get it - that's just the way it is.

So the new season resumed last weekend. It's funny to think that I once thought of making this blog an arsenal blog. I shrudder to think of the negativity that would be spewing on this page if that had indeed been the case. There're so few positives going into this season that I really pray we succeed. We need something of a miracle to win anything this season.

Talking of miracles, I've had my own fair share. It's now been almost a month that God has broken the chains. I read somewhere that an addict would always have the huge for the rest of his life. I don't know about that but I'm beginning to understand better the whole concept of God been strong in my weakness. And He is a merciful friend too. I'm grateful God.

Ah, so why the title you wonder. Well I could just be a party poop and say I just felt like typing it but that would be a lie. Over the course of the 4 weeks or so I've heard and appreciated Sheri Easter's rendition of this song. One of these days I'll hopefully put a link to a naija gospel song that I like.

I'm so thankful its friday - sabbath starting tonight. I'm grateful because I still have a job. There's a peace and security that comes from knowing that I'm not the one in charge - God is.